Ahh! Could Have Been Us is coming soon and I am beyond excited. This book is so special to me. It’s truly one of my favorite stories I’ve ever told. This isn’t your average brother’s best friend love story. There’s so much love, hope, forgiveness, and friendship through all of this book. This couple … this love story … it’s so much and I can’t wait for you to fall for Jack and Stella!
I’ve been handling things with Stella. I’ve learned that love isn’t for me. I don’t get the girl in the end, she’s not for me.
She’s meant for love and happiness and a family.
I toss back the drink the bartender set in front of me. Then, as fate would fucking have it, I feel her beside me.
“I thought weddings were supposed to be happy,” Stella says as she grabs a glass of wine.
She laughs once. “Neither of us looks very happy.”
“We both know the truth about it all.” I turn to her, my elbow resting on the bar.
“And what’s that?”
“That love and happiness don’t go hand in hand.”
Stella shakes her head. “And I thought I was the jaded one.” She brings the glass to her lips and takes a long sip. “That’s where you’re wrong. They are happy because they’re in love.”
“And what about the people who are in love but are miserable?”
She drains her glass and places it down. “Follow me and you can find out.”
There’s no pause before her exit, she just walks out of the tent.
I look around to see if anyone notices, but everyone is drinking, laughing, dancing, and smiling, not paying attention to Stella and me.
So, like a dog with a bone, I follow her. My feet are moving before my mind can think better of it. I trail along the path she took, and when I get to the tree line, she calls my name softly.
I move into the forest, finding her in a small clearing where the sun is coming through the leaves, making her look like an angel.
“What are we doing here?”
She lifts her head, a beam of light catching her dark brown hair and causing it to shimmer. “We’re breathing, Jack.”
“Don’t we pretty much do that each minute?” I ask, moving closer to her.
Like a magnet, she pulls me in.
Her eyes meet mine, and she smiles. “No, I don’t think either of us do. I think we fight it.” She steps toward me. “I think that if we didn’t, if we really inhaled, we’d find that it hurts.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I tell her.
“Everything I do is to avoid that.”
Stella takes another step. Slowly, her hand lifts to rest on my cheek. “I know that too, but you avoiding me, Jack, it hurts. I’ve been in love with you for . . . God, fifteen years.”
The restraint I’m using to keep from grabbing her causes my arms to shake. I can’t move or I’ll fuck everything up. I’ll take her in my arms and kiss her until the only breath she knows is mine. I’ll . . . No. I can’t. I won’t.
“This is why love and happiness don’t exist,” I tell her.
“No, it’s because you’re afraid. Tell me you don’t want me right now. Tell me that, when I touch you, you don’t wish it would never end.” She moves closer, her chest brushes against mine, and I swear I’m going to fucking die. “Tell me that you don’t love me the way I love you.”
I have to lie because if I say the truth, then we will just be back where we started. Even if I tell her the truth, it won’t change our circumstances.
I take her wrist, pulling her palm away from my face. “I don’t feel that way.”
Anger flares in those brown eyes. She knows me too well. “So, you’re going to pretend? Like . . . it’s nothing?”
“It’s better this way,” I tell her.
My heart is pounding, and when I try to let her go, she grabs the lapels of my jacket. “We have to deal with this. We can’t . . . we can’t pretend anymore. You still have feelings for me, I know you do!”
Yes, I do. I fucking love her enough to stay away because we will never work.
Instead of telling her that, I dig deeper into the lie. “I don’t.”
She shakes her head, tears starting to fill her gaze. “Lies,” she whispers. “Tell me the truth for once.”
“I do . . . I can’t.”
Why can’t she fucking see it? If I let myself love her, then we won’t be able to go back. We’ll have to tell everyone the truth. The number of lies we’ve told over the years will unravel and it will destroy everything.
“You can’t pretend with me, Jack.” Her hands fall away, and I make a grave mistake.
I reach for her. She comes to me instantly, her hands on my chest as I hold her close, making one last attempt. One chance for her to see what I’m saying before I do everything I said I wouldn’t. “We can’t. God, Stella, we can’t.”
Her eyes flutter, and her lips part. And then, like the bastard I’ve always been, I stop fighting and kiss her.
“Get your fucking hands off my sister,” Grayson says from behind us.
Of all the damn people to catch us, it had to be him. “Grayson . . .” I say quickly, moving toward him.
My brother doesn’t look at me though. No, his rage is centered on Jack. “How could you?” he seethes.
“It’s not what you think,” I cut in, hoping to defuse this.
Grayson’s hands flex as he glares at Jack.
I look to Jessica, who shrugs. Great, I finally get a sister, and she’s no help.
Jack takes a step toward Grayson’s direction. “I know you’re pissed, and I get it, but you have to know . . .”
Gray doesn’t let him finish. His hand goes up, and then Jess grips his arm. “Come on, love, let’s dance and let them talk.”
“Talk? Did you see that? It didn’t look like they were talking when he was kissing her.”
Jessica gives me an apologetic smile and then turns back to her stark-raving-mad husband. Her voice is calm and soothing. “Yes, and it’s not our business. Your sister can handle it.”
And I now love this girl. Yes, his sister can handle it. Thank you. Finally someone sees I’m not a fourteen-year-old. “Go with your wife, Gray. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
He sends a dagger-like glance in Jack’s direction again before he allows Jessica to pull him away.
As soon as he’s out of view, Jack runs his hands through his hair and practically growls. “This is why!”
He gives me a look, one that is clearly not affectionate. “Why this was a mistake.”
“Yes, the sky will fall and the ground will crumble now that Grayson saw us kiss.” I roll my eyes.
“This isn’t funny.”
I turn back to him. “No, it’s not. It’s sad. Did Grayson ask you for permission to date Jessica? What about Yvonne? Did you two discuss the who’s and what’s about dating? No. You didn’t.”
“Neither Yvonne nor Jessica are my little sister.”
“And that’s the fucking issue!” I yell at him. “I’m not little, Jack. I’m a grown woman who doesn’t need her brother’s permission to be with someone. You don’t need it either. I love you. I love you and you love me.” I throw my hands up. “This is insane! Don’t you see that? Grayson knows now. There’s nothing to hide. We’re found out.”
He starts to pace, his head shaking the entire time. “He saw us kiss once.”
“Yes, and he’ll be upset, but you know what will piss him off even more? You breaking my heart. So, here’s an idea, don’t do it. Don’t make me walk out of this clearing with tears streaming down my face because, once again, you let me go.”
Jack stops moving, his eyes on me. “You think I let you go?”
“Haven’t you? Each time you choose not to kiss me, love me, hold me, and tell me the damn truth, you let me go.”
His strides are steady and sure as he closes the space between us. In a few seconds, I’m hauled against his chest, my arms trapped between us as he looks down at me. “I’ve never let you go.”
He kisses me. His lips are soft and yet unyielding. I close my eyes and get lost in his touch. It’s as though all the world is right, the birds are chirping, and the sun is streaming down around us, illuminating the truth that has always been—we belong together.
Jack is the other part of my heart, and for so long, I’ve been desperate for it. I’ve needed this—us.