Thank you so much for reading All Too Well! I hope you enjoyed Lachlan and Ainsley–and Rose! I loved this book so much. Writing them was an absolute joy and I can’t even explain how happy they made me. There was one final piece to the story that I felt we needed and that was Ainsley’s article.
I hope you enjoy!
~Ainsley~
Metro NY
So What Happens Now?
By Ainsley MacKinley
There are people out there who we put on pedestals because of their innate talent. The athletes. The ones we pile into arenas, stadiums, ballparks, and fields to watch do something many can only dream—to play. To be the best at any given sport. Little boys and girls tune into the television to see the game-winning home run, the last-second free-throw before the buzzer, or that magical pass by the quarterback that lands just perfectly in the receiver’s hands.
As fans, we watch in awe, wishing we could do what they do. There are moments that define a game, but those moments pass, leaving us mere mortals to sit back and remember how we felt. But what does it feel like for the player?
My goal for this article was to see what happens to those athletes when it’s over. Where do they go from there? How do they find a life amongst those who cannot play? I did that. At least, I attempted to, but along the way, I found more.
I encountered a town veterinarian who decided that injuries could be healed instead of inflicted. An incredible businessman, that now helps run a multi-million dollar company instead of running on the field. Someone once praised as a never-before-seen-talent on the ice who is now a beloved school principal after serving as a Marine. And last but certainly not least, a single father that walked away from being a number one draft pick to give their child the life they knew they wouldn’t have if he continued to play.
This all started when I set off to the small town of Ember Falls to see what happened to the Heisman trophy winner, Lachlan West. He was, by all accounts, one of the most talented football players to step onto the field. He saw things that other quarterbacks missed. His coaches described him as more than just a man with a spectacular arm. He had vision. He could read the defense better than anyone he’s ever coached. No other player could just glance and know what was coming the way Lachlan did. He laughed and explained that Lachlan was given the authority to make whatever changes on the field if he noticed something—and he did often.
To many, Lachlan West was exciting to watch, dissect, find the flaws, or cheer for if you were a fan. However, to me, he was the boy next door who often used that precise aim to torment me and then we grew apart. Four years had gone by and much had changed for both of us.
He found himself back in the spotlight, once again a hero, but for a very different reason. He saved a young girl in a burning building, and it made many question … what happened to him?
There will be some who read this and find it as a disappointment of sorts. To see someone who was “meant for greatness” in football to end up in a small town as the fire chief. However, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
He wears many hats, and each one of them makes him so much more than just an athlete, even though, in his heart, he’s still that as well.
To have this story make sense, there is always a backstory that needs to be told. Lachlan moved in next door to me when he was eleven. Both our fathers were naval officers. My father, the Admiral, as we call him, and his father was a captain. His father commanded a ship which demanded he work long hours and often deployed. Being a military brat is not for the faint of heart. We learn very early how to navigate a childhood with one parent being in and out. It’s not easy, but we understand the sacrifices.
However, that molds a child.
For some, it creates a possible legacy. They may want to serve as well.
But for others, it is more of a deterrent.
Lachlan may not have been enlisting or commissioning for service, but professional sports require a level of commitment as well as time away from home and family.
Six months before the NFL draft, Lachlan learned that he was to be a father. He and the child’s mother decided that he would take sole custody. There was an argument to be made that instead of leaving football, he could have both. Surely, being praised as the number one pick would allot him the finances to care for his child and still be able to dominate on the field, but he didn’t see it that way.
Instead, he saw this as a chance to be a father first and find something else to do for a career. He walked away, leaving many journalists flabbergasted, but knew there were other doors meant to be opened.
I’ll be honest, I am not a sports fan. The fact that I was able to get any of the terms right to begin with is truly a miracle. Watching anyone walk away from a dream of sports really didn’t seem like such a huge deal. I learned how silly I was to feel that way.
When I arrived in Ember Falls, I found that group of guys who formed an Ultimate Frisbee team. I laughed, as you’re probably doing as you read this. Yes, four elite college athletes who now play Ultimate Frisbee. Surely this was a joke, right?
While the sport may not seem like a natural progression, I can see why they searched for a sense of community. They found that in the Disc Jocks (yes, it’s a ridiculous name. Don’t worry, I teased them relentlessly). When I asked each of them what they missed most, it was the sense of family they had with their team. Which is why they sought out something akin to it.
Being an athlete defined all four of them. It was what made them different, special even. They were loved and spoken about by many people. All four were featured on sports television, and Lachlan played in the National Championship. Killian was actually drafted to a professional team and got to experience the mayhem that comes with that. Each man experienced things many of us could only dream of.
Walking away from their dream wasn’t easy. In fact, from their accounts, it was absolutely heartbreaking.
Losing the one thing that made you feel elite leaves you asking … so what happens now?
For them, they found Frisbee, but more importantly, they found friendship.
And what did I find? Well, I found that walking away from something you love is worth it for the person you love.
This will be my last column in the Metro NY.
In Ember Falls, I left my heart. I found that the boy next door who I lost for four years is worth giving up a life here. He showed me that sometimes, the painful decisions can lead to extraordinary happiness.
So what happens now?
I don’t know, but I know I’ll be going for my own win at a game called love.
~Lachlan~
I read her words again for the millionth time. It doesn’t matter that since then, she’s written probably a hundred more articles. This one is still my favorite.
It’s where I saw in black and white that she was willing to walk away from it all—for me and Rose.
Not that I would’ve asked her to. Not that I wanted it, well, I did, but not in that way.
“Are you reading that article again?” Ainsley asks as she leans against the doorframe.
“Yes, I am.”
She smiles. “Nothing has changed in there since it was written years ago.”
“Doesn’t matter, each time feels like the first.”
Reading those words never gets old.
“You really are a mess, you know that?”
I’m aware, but only about her. “How are you feeling?” I ask, glancing down at her very round belly.
Her hands move to cradle our son. “He’s doing a line dance in there, and I was getting nauseous.”
“Come here.”
She walks to me, and I brace my hands on her belly before pressing my lips there. Then I tell my son to knock it off. “Don’t kick your mother.”
Her hands move to my hair and she slides her fingers through. “You should probably practice being a little sterner. You sounded like you were laughing.”
“I can be stern.”
“Yeah? Rose and I run circles around you.”
That’s the freaking truth. “I let you do that.”
“Oh, do you?”
“Yes, it’s my one flaw.”
Ainsley snorts. “One? I’m sorry, love, but you have a plethora of flaws.”
“A plethora, huh?”
“Yes, but one of them is not how much you love me. You’re quite good at that.”
I guess I have that going for me.
“I’m glad you think so.”
I put the framed article in the drawer where I keep all of her stories and get to my feet. Ainsley stretches a little, arching her back. She’s eight months pregnant and our son is absolutely not small. At one point I really thought the doctors were wrong and we had twins in there. They’ve assured us multiple times, it’s just one.
One big baby.
“I swear, another month of him growing and I’m not going to fit through the door,” she complains.
“I’ll grease the sides,” I joke.
Ainsley slaps my chest. “Ass.”
“Do you know what I think?” I ask, wrapping my arms around her. “I think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”
She huffs. “That’s the farthest thing from the truth.”
“I’m not lying, Ainsley. You are beautiful and I love you.”
“I love you too, but today, I don’t feel so beautiful.”
I hate that for her. The last two years have been the best in my life. Rose and Ainsley fell into a friendship and love that Ainsley is truly her mother in every way that matters. As for our marriage, it’s more fulfilling than I ever thought was possible. She’s truly my other half and I’ve just found what it feels like to be whole.
“It’s a good thing you have me to tell you then,” I kiss her nose.
“It is. You’re definitely more than ornamental. You also can reach high things and open jars. Totally worth your salt.”
I laugh. “Let’s not forget the sex.”
“Are you wanting a critique at that too?”
I glance down at her stomach. “I’d say I do a good job.”
Her arms come up around my neck. “Better than good. It’s also another reason I keep you around.”
“I’ll have to continue to improve so you don’t get tired of me.”
Ainsley shakes her head and pushes up on her toes. “I’ll never be tired of you. You’re my baby daddy.”
“Husband is what I am.”
“Oh, that too. We like the titles, I see.”
I laugh and kiss her lips.
There is never a dull moment in my life with Ainsley. She challenges me, makes me laugh more than I knew was possible, and now we’re having a baby, which is a wholly different experience than with Rose.
I missed all these things. The first time I got to feel him kick. The appointments where we couldn’t wait to see the baby on the ultrasound. I’ve had the joys of her increased sexual desires as well as the torment of her morning sickness—which someone really needs to rethink what they call it because it was truly all day sickness.
Most of all, I just get to watch her radiate love and happiness.
“What title do you like best? Senior reporter?”
She shakes her head. “I mean, I don’t hate that, but not my favorite.”
“Pain in my ass?” I ask with a grin.
“That’s your title, babe.”
“Only when you hand over your crown.”
Ainsley sighs, but it’s not filled with frustration, more of her playfulness. “Whatever you say, dear.”
I laugh. “Okay, then tell me.”
“Mrs. West and Mom. Those are my favorite.”
I pull her just a little tighter. “Those are my favorite too.” Then I kiss her again, because I can.
So, what’s next?
Next is Miles & Penelope in Here and Now!
Single Mom just moved to town and the hilarious school principal!
This one is going to steal your heart!
A Single Mom, Woman on the run, Small Town, Golden
Retriever x Black Cat romance! All the good things!
